Where should I even begin? My 20s were filled with a lot of joy and pain. I went through so many trials and obstacles yet, I had so many triumphs and victories. I moved to New York at the age of eighteen and stayed until I was twenty-six. I was able to spend the majority of my 20s in the biggest city in the world. I had to go through so many growing pains that included being homeless, not knowing if I was going to graduate college or even afford school each semester, living away from my family while navigating a huge city, losing family members through death, losing friends by outgrowing them and the list can go on. If I could, I would break down my 20s into five categories; ‘Dreams Take Time To Become A Reality’, ‘Peace & Pain Under Pressure’, ‘Having Fun Is Necessary’, ‘Love Thine Own-Self’, and ‘Boundaries Are Biblical For Growth’.
Dreams Take Time To Become A Reality
I wish someone would have told me that your dreams take time to become a reality. Even though your dreams might take time, you should not give up on what God has destined you to do. When you are a young and ambitious person like I was, you tend to think that things might happen quicker than they actually do. I legit believed that by the age of twenty-five, I would be Oprah. But Oprah wasn’t even Oprah until she was well in her 30s. I moved to New York at the age of eighteen and attended Hofstra University. I got my first internship my Junior year of college at The Wendy Williams Show. Right before my internship, I decided to stay in New York for the summer and I was homeless living with different friends. When I received my internship in the city, I realized that I would have to work so hard, not only at this new internship but also, juggling my school job while taking seventeen credit hours. When I graduated college, which was only by the grace of God, it took me a long time to find a television/entertainment job. I never imagined that I would have to take up random temp jobs and internships before I somewhat, finally got my big break in the entertainment industry.
Peace & Pain Under Pressure
My 20s taught me that under all of the pressure I had, while trying to navigate this thing called life in New York, that I always needed to look to God and the Bible for my peace of mind. There were always things coming my way even with me finally having a job in television. Even though I had a degree I had to start off as a paid intern and prove myself. I had to roll up my sleeves and do what I had to do by getting coffee for my team, running more errands while still writing for the show and helping produce segments. I eventually moved up to an Associate Producer but it took a year of grinding.
I eventually, lost my apartment and had to move in with church family. It was painful to lose my place at first, but it turned into a blessing in disguise. As my career began to excel, I began working for a show with NBC but again, they made me start all the way over even though, I was qualified. I was now a production assistant. I had to do what I had to do, so I rolled up my sleeves and did the hard work. There was so much pain and pressure because I knew I was worthy of more but I had to humble myself. Instead of complaining, I went to The Lord for guidance and continued to read scriptures and listen to sermons. These scriptures and sermons helped me stay focused, humbled and do the work.
Eventually, after all of the pain (and of course amazing moments like, attending the 2018 Grammy Awards, interviewing Grammy nominated SZA and interviewing the legendary Pharell at a movie premiere) I was promoted and transferred to the headquarters in Los Angles.
Having Fun Is Necessary
Although, I went through a lot of pain and trials I legit ALWAYS made sure to have fun no matter what my financial situation looked like. In my 20s I always partied like it was 1999. My friends and I always made sure we went out to events, bars, clubs, concerts and festivals. I also, traveled all over the world while in my 20s. I’ve been to France, Spain, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and my all time favorite place in the world, Jamaica. I found ways to pay for the trips by either saving or begging someone to let me borrow the money so I can experience and live my best life. Shit I deserved it after everything I had worked so hard for. Having fun and not taking myself too seriously, is so important to me. Life is short and so it’s vital to live your life to the fullest. Having fun always helps me to live in the moment and celebrate being alive.
Love Thine Own-Self
At the age of twenty-five I learned one of my most important life lessons that I still live by. Love Thine Own-Self. This basically means that I love myself and put myself 1st (after God of course). If you don’t love yourself there is no way you will be able to love others. You will always draw or expect others to keep you happy and satisfied. I unfortunately, had to learn this lesson the hard way but I am glad that I learned it. I was the type of person to always focus on others before myself but after a horrific New Year’s Eve, I realized that not even my friends put me first in their life. At the time I was confused but eventually, the only person that will and can put you 1st and make your needs and wants a priority is yourself. No one can love and care for you, the way that you can. Self-love helps you know your worth, it helps you to focus your energy on yourself, level up financially, spiritually and physically and it creates healthy boundaries with others.
Boundaries Are Biblical For Growth
Shoutout to Pastor Mike from Transformation Church for helping me realize and implement that Boundaries Are Biblical. This means that you must set up restrictions and spiritual stop signs for people. Sometimes I do this physically by telling others no. Sometimes my boundaries are me not replying or responding. Sometimes my boundaries are me cutting off toxic situations with no explanation. Sometimes my boundaries are spiritual. When my boundaries are spiritual it’s more of me praying and then somewhat just putting up a spiritual sign that reads, “Don’t play with me”. Sometimes my energy speaks louder than my words. Healthy boundaries are important for your own individual growth, so that you do not burn out from others expectations of you.
My 20s taught me a lot and I had to go through a lot of painful situations and circumstances but I wouldn’t change anything that I have endured whether good or bad because it made me wiser and it made me into the woman that I am today.
But I am happily ready to say goodbye to my 20s and hello to my 30s. At 30 I feel like a true woman of God who is ready to surrender to the will of The Lord because I am anchored in Christ. I am excited for my new chapter and new beginning in life. I know that this new decade will take me into a new dimension that will super exceed my expectations and I will be prepared because I went through my 20s open and willing to learn all of the life lessons that have helped me become the Queen I am today. ❤